Sorry for another negative post but I literally don’t care about trying to keep up a decent blog right now.
I’m so sick of college. Like 100% tired of it. I always talk about how I hate it but I seriously give up, it’s a complete waste of my time and there’s absolutely no way I’m going to pass this year. It’s ridiculous, I can’t cope with balancing 5 assignments at once and not getting anywhere with any of them no matter how hard I try. I’m making no progress with work and I’m only getting worse. A nice little cherry on top is being expected to do work experience as well as all of my assignments, especially after being given no choice in doing it. I seriously can’t cope.
I’m sad because college is supposed to be my distraction but it’s only making me worse. I used to be so passionate about the work, photography especially, and now I just don’t care at all. I’ve realised I have no chances of a career in photography, and no actual photography skills, and I don’t know why I’m bothering.
But I have no idea what to do. If I stay, I’ll be unhappy, fail this year, and have to find somewhere else to go (probably sixth form even though I’d rather die). If I leave, I’ll have to find a job, and my mental state obviously isn’t gonna be helped by that if I can’t even manage taking a few photos for college. I seriously give up, I can’t see myself making it through the next few years anyway so I don’t understand why I’m putting all of my effort into a course I have no skills for when I’m achieving nothing. It’s bullshit, whatever I do I’m bound to end up dead in a year at most, I’m not going to waste my time trying to get anywhere knowing full well I’m useless.